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Sh*t My Dad Says HarperCollins e-books After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad Sam Halpern who is like Socrates but angrier and with worse hair has never minced words and when Justin moved back home he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him / lockquote That woman was sexy Out of your league Son let women figure out why they wont screw you Dont do it for them / Do people your age know how to comb their hair It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking / The worst thing you can be is a liar Okay fine yes the worst thing you can be is a Nazi but then number two is liar Nazi one liar two / / lockquote More than a million people now follow Mr Halperns philosophical musings on Twitter and in this book his son weaves a brilliantly funny touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field in Dennys during excruciating family road trips and most frequently in the Halperns kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts Sh t My Dad Says is a chaotic hilarious true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice / span class h1 Photographs from Sh t My Dad Says r / / span Click on Thumbnails to Enlarge / / r width 100 border 0 cellspacing 4 cellpadding 4 align center valign top class tiny width 33 mg src http / / g-ecx images-amazon com/ images/ G/ 01/ books/ promos/ smds1 250 jpg border 0 / width 33 mg src http / / g-ecx images-amazon com/ images/ G/ 01/ books/ promos/ smds2 250 jpg border 0 / width 33 mg src http / / g-ecx images-amazon com/ images/ G/ 01/ books/ promos/ smds5 250 jpg border 0 / / align center valign top class tiny width 33 I have no idea why Im sopping wet in this photo but Im going to guess its because I rolled in something filthy or spilled something on myself Hosing me down was my dad s favorite method for cleaning me off / width 33 Here I am with my dad in his garden which he adores and whose upkeep he takes very seriously Its my first love besides your mother and horse racing And you and your brothers too I suppose he s said / width 33 My dad used to carry me on his shoulders quite a bit when I was a child--until the time I accidentally urinated on him while I was up there We were at a neighbor s house and he quickly ran outside threw me off ripped off his shirt then hosed me down like he was from the CDC and Id come in contact with the Ebola Virus / / r r width 100 border 0 cellspacing 4 cellpadding 4 align center valign top class tiny width 50 mg src http / / g-ecx images-amazon com/ images/ G/ 01/ books/ promos/ smds3 400 jpg border 0 / width 50 mg src http / / g-ecx images-amazon com/ images/ G/ 01/ books/ promos/ smds4 400 jpg border 0 / / align center valign top class tiny width 50 My dad is an avid reader and all throughout my childhood he d come home after working for 12 hours and we d sit on the couch and read together / width 50 My family s trip to the Grand Canyon in 1983 was one of only two family vacations we took It coincided with the time when my dad started to lose his hair and decided hed wear hats to mask his increasing Cybill Disobedience River Siren Productions, Inc. How I survived beauty pageants Elvis sex Bruce Willis lies marriage motherhood Hollywood and the irrepressible urge to say what you think r r From wholesome beauty queen to saucy cover girl from heartbreaking movie star THE LAST PICTURE SHOW TAXI DRIVER to one of televisions most loved comediennes MOONLIGHTING CYBILL Cybill Shepherd is renowned as sassy shocking and sexy In CYBILL DISOBEDIENCE she opens her heart with the wit and honesty of a star whos seen and knows it all The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals Penguin ISBN13 9780143038580 Condition New Notes BUY WITH CONFIDENCE Over one million books sold 98 Positive feedback Compare our books prices and service to the competition 100 Satisfaction Guaranteed A national bestseller that has changed the way readers view the ecology of eating this revolutionary book by award winner Michael Pollan asks the seemingly simple question What should we have for dinner Tracing from source to table each of the food chains that sustain us whether industrial or organic alternative or processed he develops a portrait of the American way of eating The result is a sweeping surprising exploration of the hungers that have shaped our evolution and of the profound implications our food choices have for the health of our species and the future of our planet Super Sad True Love Story: A Novel Random House The author of two critically acclaimed novels The Russian Debutante s Handbook / and Absurdistan / Gary Shteyngart has risen to the top of the fiction world Now in his hilarious and heartfelt new novel he envisions a deliciously dark tale of America s dysfunctional coming years and the timeless and tender feelings that just might bring us back from the brink r r In a very near future oh let s say next Tuesday a functionally illiterate America is about to collapse But don t that tell that to poor Lenny Abramov the thirty-nine-year-old son of an angry Russian immigrant janitor proud author of what may well be the world s last diary and less-proud owner of a bald spot shaped like the great state of Ohio Despite his job at an outfit called Post-Human Services which attempts to provide immortality for its super-rich clientele death is clearly stalking this cholesterol-rich morsel of a man And why shouldn t it Lenny s from a different century he totally loves books or printed bound media artifacts as they re now known even though most of his peers find them smelly and annoying But even more than books Lenny loves Eunice Park an impossibly cute and impossibly cruel twenty-four-year-old Korean American woman who just graduated from Elderbird College with a major in Images and a minor in Assertiveness r r After meeting Lenny on an extended Roman holiday blistering Eunice puts that Assertiveness minor to work teaching our ancient dork effective new ways to brush his teeth and making him buy a cottony nonflammable wardrobe But America proves less flame-resistant than Lenny s new threads The country is crushed by a credit crisis riots break out in New York s Central Park the city s streets are lined with National Guard tanks on every corner the dollar is so over and our patient Chinese creditors may just be ready to foreclose on the whole mess Undeterred Lenny vows to love both Eunice and his homeland He s going to convince his fickle new love that in a time without standards or stability in a world where single people can determine a dating prospect s hotness and sustainability with the click of a button in a society where the privileged may live forever but the unfortunate will die all too soon there is still value in being a real human being r r Wildly funny rich and humane Super Sad True Love Story / Amazon Best of the Month August 2010 / Welcome to the day after tomorrow In Gary Shteyngarts near-future New York the dollar has been pegged to the yuan the American Restoration Authority is on high security alert and Lenny Abramov the middle-aged possessor of a decent credit score but an absurdly low--and embarrassingly public--Male Hotness rating is in love with the young Eunice Park Like many of the clients of his employer the Post-Human Services division of the Staatling-Wapachung Corporation hed also like to live forever but all he really wants is to love Eunice And for a time despite the traditional challenges of their gaps in age and ethnicity and the more modern hurdle of an oppressively networked culture that makes your most private identity as transparent as the Onionskin jeans that are all the rage he does em Super Sad True Love Story / em is as corrosively hilarious as youd expect from the satirist of em Absurdistan / em and em The Russian Debutantes Handbook / em but what may surprise you are the moments when the satire hits bedrock and the story becomes--no air quotes required--sad true and very much a love story em --Tom Nissley / em True Prep: It's a Whole New Old World Knopf Wake up Muffy We re back r r From Lisa Birnbach the author of The Official Preppy Handbook and designer Chip Kidd comes a whole new take on the prep world that Birnbach turned into an international best-selling phenomenon thirty years ago r r True Prep is a contemporary look at how the old guard of natural-fiber-loving dog-worshipping G T-soaked preppies adapt to the new order of things Birnbach considers the prep attitude towards money ambivalent schools good investment wardrobe now your clothes fit work some careers will never be prep decorating ask mummy scandal including rehab and prison and food and drink with some classic recipes for both She also looks at weekends and what to do to get asked back entertaining sports including sailing and shopping weddings etiquette the Internet and electronic gadgetry political correctness reality TV and polar fleece And last but not least a do-it-yourself eulogy r r With more than 200 original illustrations and photographs True Prep promises to be a whole new old sensation span class h1 Look Inside True Prep / / span r cellspacing 0 align center align center r align center width 370 cellpadding 3 mg alt True Prep Casual Friday Saturday title True Prep Casual Friday Saturday border 0 src http / / g-ecx images-amazon com/ images/ G/ 01/ books/ rando-ems/ True-Prep-Casual-Friday-Small jpg width 300 height 223 r center span class caption Casual Friday Saturday r/ font size 1 View larger / span / center / font / / r align center r align center width 370 cellpadding 3 mg alt True Prep Henrys Head title True Prep Henrys Head border 0 src http / / g-ecx images-amazon com/ images/ G/ 01/ books/ rando-ems/ True-Prep-Henrys-Head-Small jpg width 300 height 223 r center span class caption Henrys Head r/ font size 1 View larger / span / center / font / / r / / r / / r r/ hr noshade noshade size 1 class bucketDivider / The Obama Diaries Threshold Editions ISBN13 9781439197516 Condition New Notes BUY WITH CONFIDENCE Over one million books sold 98 Positive feedback Compare our books prices and service to the competition 100 Satisfaction Guaranteed WASHINGTON D C / On May 20 2010 Laura Ingraham received a package from an anonymous source that will change the history of the United States and the legacy of President Barack Obama While retrieving her automobile from the underground garage at the Watergate complex where she had just enjoyed her weekly pedicure Ingraham discovered a manila envelope on the hood of her car When she picked it up a deep baritone voice called out from a nearby stairwell Just read it You ll know what to do The shadowy figure then disappeared into the darkness without another word The envelope contained copies of what appeared to be diary entries written by President Barack Obama his family and high-ranking administration officials Because the diaries are so revealing Ingraham felt compelled to release them to the American public and the citizens of the world Major media outlets love to describe the president as no drama Obama but The Obama Diaries tells a different tale Through these diary entries readers will see past the carefully constructed Obama fa ade to the administration s true plans to remake America In The Obama Diaries Ingraham hilariously skewers the president and his minions She takes aim at the cynical razzle-dazzle marketing of Obama s radical agenda the use of the Obama brand and family to obscure Obama s true aims Michelle Obama s gardening and anti-obesity initiative and much more Informative and hugely entertaining The Obama Diaries will inspire both laughter and critical thinking about the future of the nation and the man currently at the helm Excerpts from Laura Ingraham s The Obama Diaries / Obama on Sarah Palin / Hell doesn t Palin have anything better to do than criticize me Shouldn t she be back home shooting some endangered wolf species from a helicopter April 9 2010 Michelle on being First Lady / I ll be damned if all this fabulosity is going to go to waste reading Dr Seuss to snot-nosed kids all day January 23 2009 Vice President Joe Biden on Michelle Obama / She s kind of like a black Hillary Clinton I mean that in a good way May 5 2009 Obama on his visit to the Vatican / If I can ingratiate myself Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything (P.S.) Harper Perennial ISBN13 9780060731335 Condition New Notes BUY WITH CONFIDENCE Over one million books sold 98 Positive feedback Compare our books prices and service to the competition 100 Satisfaction Guaranteed lockquote Which is more dangerous a gun or a swimming pool / What do schoolteachers and sumo wrestlers have in common / How much do parents really matter / / lockquote These may not sound like typical questions for an economist to ask But Steven D Levitt is not a typical economist He studies the riddles of everyday life from cheating and crime to parenting and sports and reaches conclusions that turn conventional wisdom on its head Freakonomics is a groundbreaking collaboration between Levitt and Stephen J Dubner an award-winning author and journalist They set out to explore the inner workings of a crack gang the truth about real estate agents the secrets of the Ku Klux Klan and much more Through forceful storytelling and wry insight they show that economics is at root the study of incentives how people get what they want or need especially when other people want or need the same thing / Economics is not widely considered to be one of the sexier sciences The annual Nobel Prize winner in that field never receives as much publicity as his or her compatriots in peace literature or physics But if such slights are based on the notion that economics is dull or that economists are concerned only with finance itself Steven D Levitt will change some minds In Freakonomics written with Stephen J Dubner Levitt argues that many apparent mysteries of everyday life dont need to be so mysterious they could be illuminated and made even more fascinating by asking the right questions and drawing connections For example Levitt traces the drop in violent crime rates to a drop in violent criminals and digging further to the Roe v Wade decision that preempted the existence of some people who would be born to poverty and hardship Elsewhere by analyzing data gathered from inner-city Chicago drug-dealing gangs Levitt outlines a corporate structure much like McDonalds where the top bosses make great money while scores of underlings make something below minimum wage And in a section that may alarm or relieve worried parents Levitt argues that parenting methods dont really matter much and that a backyard swimming pool is much more dangerous than a gun These enlightening chapters are separated by effusive passages from Dubners 2003 profile of Levitt in The New York Times Magazine which led to the book being written In a book filled with bold logic such back-patting veers Freakonomics however briefly away from what Levitt actually has to say Although maybe theres a good economic reason for that too and were just not getting it yet --John Moe In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks: . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy Crown Archetype A couple years back I was at the Phoenix airport bar It was empty except for one heavy-set gray bearded grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up and thats when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID At first the old sea captain just laughed But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again At this point it became apparent that he was serious Dan Haggertys dad fired back Youve got to be kidding me son The bartender replied New policy Everyone has to show their ID Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II r / r Its a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching crystal-rubbing Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys What we used to settle with common sense or a fist we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and hes here to help us get our collective balls back r In Fifty Years Well All Be Chicks is Adams comedic gospel of modern America He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich turned the nations bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmels house his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with his big showbiz break and much much more Brilliantly showcasing Adams spot-on sense of humor this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/ comedian/ complainer extraordinaire r r ADAM CAROLLA is a radio and television host comedian and actor He is the host of the Adam Carolla Show which remains the internets most downloaded daily broadband podcast since its debut in March of 2009 1 on iTunes with over 150 000 daily listeners Before that he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles and syndicated by CBS Radio Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show Loveline The Last Lecture Hyperion ISBN13 9781401323257 Condition New Notes BUY WITH CONFIDENCE Over one million books sold 98 Positive feedback Compare our books prices and service to the competition 100 Satisfaction Guaranteed We cannot change the cards we are dealt just how we play the hand r --Randy Pausch / A lot of professors give talks titled The Last Lecture Professors are asked to consider their demise and to ruminate on what matters most to them And while they speak audiences cant help but mull the same question What wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance If we had to vanish tomorrow what would we want as our legacy When Randy Pausch a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon was asked to give such a lecture he didnt have to imagine it as his last since he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer But the lecture he gave-- Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams --wasnt about dying It was about the importance of overcoming obstacles of enabling the dreams of others of seizing every moment because time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe It was about living In this book Randy Pausch has combined the humor inspiration and intelligence that made his lecture such a phenomenon and given it an indelible form It is a book that will be shared for generations to come We cannot change the cards we are dealt just how we play the hand r --Randy Pausch A lot of professors give talks titled The Last Lecture Professors are asked to consider their demise and to ruminate on what matters most to them And while they speak audiences cant help but mull the same question What wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance If we had to vanish tomorrow what would we want as our legacy When Randy Pausch a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon was asked to give such a lecture he didnt have to imagine it as his last since he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer But the lecture he gave-- Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams --wasnt about dying It was about the importance of overcoming obstacles of enabling the dreams of others of seizing every moment because time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe It was about living In this book Randy Pausch has combined the humor inspiration and intelligence that made his lecture such a phenomenon and given it an indelible form It is a book that will be shared for generations to come / align left span class h1 Questions for Randy Pausch / / span mg src http / / g-ecx images-amazon com/ images/ G/ 01/ books/ a-plus/ Pausch Randy 300 V12349126 jpg border 0 hspace 5 vspace 5 align right We were shy about barging in on Randy Pauschs valuable time to ask him a few questions about his expansion of his famous Last Lecture into the book by the same name but he was gracious enough to take a moment to answer See Randy to the right with his kids Dylan Logan and Chloe As anyone who has watched the lecture or read the book will understand the really crucial question is the last one and we werent surprised to learn that the secret to winning giant stuffed animals on the midway like most anything else is sheer persistence Amazon com / I apologize for asking a question you must get far more often than youd like but how are you feeling Pausch / The tumors are not yet large enough to affect my health so all the problems are related to the chemotherapy I have neuropathy numbness in fingers and toes and varying degrees of GI discomfort mild nausea and fatigue Occasionally Take Ivy powerHouse Books Described by The New York Times as a treasure of fashion insiders Take Ivy / was originally published in Japan in 1965 setting off an explosion of American-influenced Ivy Style fashion among students in the trendy Ginza shopping district of Tokyo The product of four sartorial style enthusiasts Take Ivy / is a collection of candid photographs shot on the campuses of America s elite Ivy League universities The series focuses on men and their clothes perfectly encapsulating the unique academic fashion of the era Whether lounging in the quad studying in the library riding bikes in class or at the boathouse the subjects of Take Ivy / are impeccably and distinctively dressed in the finest American-made garments of the time r r Take Ivy / is now considered a definitive document of this particular style and rare original copies are highly sought after by trad devotees worldwide A small-run reprint came out in Japan in 2006 and sold out almost immediately Now for the first time ever powerHouse is reviving this classic tome with an all-new English translation Ivy style has never been more popular in Japan or stateside proving its timeless and transcendent appeal Take Ivy / has survived the decades and is an essential object for anyone interested in the history or future of fashion